Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
