i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Alive.
So much puke
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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