meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
