This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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