...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
