How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
