fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
