Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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