Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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