I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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