apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
