Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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