I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
