are you still at the devil's house?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
