its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
