"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize