It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
