Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
