Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
