my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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