I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A bitchslap is in order.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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