I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
