So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
