Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
