I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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