I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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