just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
