Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
