She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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