Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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