Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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