I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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