He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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