grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
