you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
