Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
