i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
