I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
