Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
its liver damage thursday
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
