NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
