a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
