She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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