Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
