Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
