We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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