he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
