hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize