everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
