Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
