WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she told me i tasted like america
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
