So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
