i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
