I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
