I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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